I want a snoball. I want MY Zumba family. I want someone else to make me something I'm used to eating. I want Vine Street and 200 people within 15 minutes of me that I know, and have known, for 24 years. I want streets that lay out in a grid and make sense and don't wind and turn into interstates and highways.
I want everything familiar to me, just for a night.
I want a Hays hug.
I want to lay my head on someone's lap who will dote on me and pat my head and just love on me for a couple solid hours.
Don't hear what I'm not saying.
I'm not saying I want to move back.
I'm not saying I don't like it here.
Beyond a shadow of a doubt, this is where I'm supposed to be. This is where I find so much joy. This is what I've prayed for, and trusted God for, and believed in for so long. This is SO Him.
and all the other "wants" are just flesh. and it's normal. and it's okay.
I'm getting ready to spend Thanksgiving with people I've only known for a few months. Every day I drive or go somewhere new I've never been.
I've been brought to my max, and God's provided in every moment- financially, physically,emotionally, mentally, spiritually. . .
I'm not who I was and I'm so grateful. There are ways I've grown and understood Him- and who I am in Him -that I could have never known in Hays, or Hutchinson, or any of the other places I've been.
I am home sweet Ham, and grateful- SO grateful.
It's not necessarily about meeting more people, or having more time with the people I know here.
It's trusting Him in this time. It's believing Him for all He's doing and working out that I can't even imagine.
It's knowing as I invest, and spend time here, it's going to be less about needing then and more about experiencing now
this is just where I'm at tonight. (Okay, really, the last 2 weeks have been a roller coaster)
and it's okay to be here.
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4 comments:
I want a Michelle hug. So glad we talked today.
Remember this: it's ok to cry... it's ok to want what you used to have... it's ok to want what you don't yet have in your new home. Things are falling in to place beautifully, but nobody said the road would be easy. You are such a strong woman, it's ok to show your weaknesses... for they make you stronger.
And I love you. :)
I understand those WANTS for sure!! Experienced them before and still do now! Love you!
Luff you Chelle! I completely understand what you are saying...I've been there many times in the last few months!
And on a not so serious note, I was craving a snoball with a passion a few days ago!
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