can i get some TRUTH up in here?!

i've had a pretty consistent feeling of wanting to 1. puke and 2. cry today. . .

satan.

truly though, to be present in those feelings, to allow God to comfort me in this nervousness, is good- no stuffing. just

being.

Now here is what I know:

I know He is Truth. Light. Love. Peace. . .

I know He has equipped me to do ALL things that He calls me to.

I know He rescues me . . . meets me where I'm at. . . walks beside me and leads me and surrounds me. . . He's SO everywhere. . . which I SO need.

and I know these feelings need to be surrendered. . .

I am not inadequate. I am perfectly capable.

here's the background:

my first birth mother delivers next week.

and.

I wish I could know exactly what to expect to be prepared. I wish I wasn't nervous about walking into a new hospital, I've never seen- parking in the parking deck (24 years with flat parking lots. . . can you blame a girl for being a little anxious about the parking deck?) - I wish I could protect this young woman of any unnecessary words spoken against her heart.

but where is the TRUST in that? Where is abundant life and freedom & knowing Him to work out all things, if I already know how they work out?

I'll leave this blog where it's at- and lay and let Him speak to me in this moment, about all this. . .

and I'll be back to let you know how He was present in every moment- how His PEACE surpassed all understanding and how God uses this to paint a beautiful picture of His love, redemption, restoration, and wholeness.

so until then. . . believe Him for these things, in this moment, for these precious lives intertwining in the Ham. . .

thank you