Home Sweet HAM!

ahhhh

2011-04-08T00:11:00.000-07:00

I am so blown away by Him

recognizing His Sovereignty in knowing exactly where I needed to be to know and understand and fully embrace what He has for me. . .

LIFEEEEEE

with Him. Moving Forward. out of hurt places through healing and into restoration, reconciliation, REALITY.

He is so committed. . .

f a i t h

2011-03-27T17:16:00.001-07:00

faith. . .

a reoccurring theme.

I went to hear a dear friend speak at a women's conference- her challenge was to read Hebrews 11 every day for a week? or ten days maybe? Or maybe 11 since it's Hebrews 11. I can't really remember.

but I've done it thus far (it's been 6 days)

and every day made a statement. . . "BY FAITH, Michelle . . . (fill in the ellipsis with something)"

and today at church, we talked about faith. . .

Can't help but wonder what He's doing. . . stirring. . .

redefining.

I'm ready for a new week.
ready for tomorrow.

ready to go to bed and rest well and wake up refreshed

ready to have words for everything going on inside and outside of me- without crying :) but tears are good, and every day I realize even more how much I needed to grow outside of what i always knew.

ready to feel a little more established here.

by faith I moved to Birmingham, Alabama.
and I will not grumble and go back to what was. . .

I move forward because I know what I'm really homesick for is Heaven.
I will continue to allow Him to grow and shape and mold and move in me.
And yes, aching is okay, and missing home is okay.

I acknowledge Life is here- Life is a journey- and my goal is to not miss what He's doing in the present because I'm looking to the past. . . or trying to figure out the future.

this.
is.
it

and I am so grateful.
By faith I press on. I move forward.

I embrace.
all I need is Him. He is all I can depend on. . . and He'll come through in ways I never imagined when and where He knows I need it most. . .

He is here.

6

2011-01-29T17:52:00.000-08:00

officially

6 months.

1.1.11

2011-01-01T07:52:00.000-08:00

Why 2011 is the NEWest year I've had . . .

I have been in Alabama a solid 5 months and 3 days (minus a couple weekend trips and my fabulous 5 days back home)

. . . Monday I'll begin my 6th month at Lifeline. . .

almost half a year in Birmingham?! That doesn't seem like very long - and it does, at the same time.

So although it has been half a year, I've been told it takes about a year to get settled. SO I guess I'm half way?

I'm so grateful to be called here. I know this is what God made me for . . . and made for me. Every day I wake up and thank Him for a new day, and another day here- work is my favorite place to be. It's my ministry. My heart cry. My co workers are my family and they're beside me on this journey. . . in this work. The women I work with are so brave- such a blessing to know.

There are lonely moments, for sure- and it's opportunity to know Him in the deepest places of my spirit and soul. . .to awaken to His love, His Presence, His peace . . .

Triple whammy of a weekend- my first full weekend here after going back to Hays. . .my first weekend being sick . . . and my first new year in a 'new' place -

1,000 miles from everything I've ever known.

and I'm grateful for who I've become because of it.
for all God has in store

going home was so sweet. . . everything it needed to be. An exact reminder of everything I've missed- moments to embrace those things. . . and much to look forward to upon my return.

Roots. Familiarity. Community. Church. Friends.

All things that grew deep in Hays. . .
and all things that are being grown here.

I'm rooted, and grounded, in HIM!
Here's to a NEW year. . . and how He makes me new!

Invited

2010-12-30T15:09:00.000-08:00

my newest lifeline blog. . .

http://lifelineadoption.blogspot.com/2010/12/invited.html

the 2011 hunt. . .

2010-12-20T17:27:00.000-08:00

A favorite C3 family tradition. . . choosing the verse of the year. Here's an email I sent our pastor as a thank you for starting this tradition. . .

I was looking back and remembering how the last couple years, my verses have got me HERE- (of course God knew all along. . . the verses are always SO significant in those moments when I was not sure what was going on- but sometimes I appreciate them even more in hindsight! )

2008. . . Proverbs 19:21. "There are many plans in a man's heart, but the Lord's purpose prevails" . . . how true that is. I knew I wanted to work with young/unwed mothers. . maybe in a maternity home- or maybe just in a residential facility with young women. I graduated in May and made it through the year feeling content that wherever He called me to was okay. I was in Hutchinson substitute teaching. I even applied for a job at Starbucks (my favorite) in Hutch and got turned down because I couldn't commit to a solid 6 months- I just didn't KNOW when or where or what God would call me to- - - I just new I had some great ideas but my timing and His were a little different. and so I waited. . .

2009 . . . Isaiah 30:18. The Lord will wait so He may be gracious to you. He will be exalted that He may have mercy on you. He is a God of justice. Blessed are those who wait on Him. . . I knew I would be blessed for waiting. And trusting. . . and so I waited. Never knowing when He would say "go" but ready for the word when it came. I applied for a job at Mercy Ministries in St. Louis, which truly was a heart's desire. . . He led me so far in that process then led me back to Hays. I was not sure why but alas, there I was- feeling like I was back where I started but knowing and believing and trusting that He was working . . .

2010 . . . Colossians 3:10. You've become a new person- this new person is continually renewed in knowledge to be like its Creator. . . At the beginning of the year, I was still holding pretty fast to waiting on the Lord. I was nannying full time and my hope was for something new. . . anything new. but mostly being made new in Him. . .

and here I am! Feeling more new than I ever have (and let's just be honest- it helps that EVERYTHING is new here). There is such joy in recognizing HE HAS MADE ME NEW- and I am continually being renewed in knowledge to be more like Him. . .

these verses have come into fruition!!!

I'm on the hunt for my 2011 verse and excited to see it play out as well. . .

25

2010-12-11T20:16:00.000-08:00

i had many reasons to believe today would be far from delightful.
would not be sweet.
would feel empty and alone and nothing like a birthday

(I was kind of moping. and missing home. There are incredible people in my life here- but sometimes all i can think about are the 200 peeps that are 1,000 miles away. . . )

God swept me off my feet. . .

Something in my spirit shifted back into alignment.
Everything inside of me knew Him
HEARD Him
felt Him

not that He hasn't been here (because He is ALWAYS here. . . in. around. for. through. so present. EVER and always present.

the time with these incredible women in my life. . . the words He spoke to me. even just the sweet rest and quiet moments that I was so content in. . .

so grateful for who He created me to be.
embracing that.
knowing Him in that.
and living that EVERY moment.
here, there, and everywhere :)

so blessed.

2010-12-08T17:09:00.001-08:00

I love the things God speaks to us through others-

things we have quietly stirring in our heart. . .

sometimes quieter than everything else going on around us. . .

God doesn't HAVE to reassure us. . . but He does. Hallelujah

but prophesy is like "a kiss on the mouth from God", as I heard in church Sunday.

Funny image.

But so sweet it is

weird

2010-11-23T20:49:00.000-08:00

the word "weird" has been heavy on my vocabulary

I don't feel like it's appropriate- the connotation isn't quite right

but I'm not sure what other word to use
to describe

this week.

. . .

all this in general. . .

not to be blogged about. only to be discussed. call if you wonder :)

want want want-

2010-11-19T16:35:00.000-08:00

I want a snoball. I want MY Zumba family. I want someone else to make me something I'm used to eating. I want Vine Street and 200 people within 15 minutes of me that I know, and have known, for 24 years. I want streets that lay out in a grid and make sense and don't wind and turn into interstates and highways.

I want everything familiar to me, just for a night.

I want a Hays hug.

I want to lay my head on someone's lap who will dote on me and pat my head and just love on me for a couple solid hours.

Don't hear what I'm not saying.
I'm not saying I want to move back.
I'm not saying I don't like it here.

Beyond a shadow of a doubt, this is where I'm supposed to be. This is where I find so much joy. This is what I've prayed for, and trusted God for, and believed in for so long. This is SO Him.

and all the other "wants" are just flesh. and it's normal. and it's okay.

I'm getting ready to spend Thanksgiving with people I've only known for a few months. Every day I drive or go somewhere new I've never been.

I've been brought to my max, and God's provided in every moment- financially, physically,emotionally, mentally, spiritually. . .

I'm not who I was and I'm so grateful. There are ways I've grown and understood Him- and who I am in Him -that I could have never known in Hays, or Hutchinson, or any of the other places I've been.

I am home sweet Ham, and grateful- SO grateful.
It's not necessarily about meeting more people, or having more time with the people I know here.

It's trusting Him in this time. It's believing Him for all He's doing and working out that I can't even imagine.
It's knowing as I invest, and spend time here, it's going to be less about needing then and more about experiencing now

this is just where I'm at tonight. (Okay, really, the last 2 weeks have been a roller coaster)
and it's okay to be here.

November: National Adoption Month

2010-11-18T20:05:00.000-08:00

for a Sav-a-Life newsletter. . . let's recognize this side of adoption. . .

Let me try and paint a picture of the bravest woman I know. . . She has no specific age, race or marriage status. Her level of education varies. Her situation is more than likely seen as “crisis.” She is pregnant. This may be her first pregnancy- her second- her third . . . She is probably scared. Uncertain. Worried. She may feel very alone and unsupported. Misunderstood, scorned, and cast out. Amidst all that is coming against her, she chooses to believe there are things FOR her. . . a HOPE. A future. She is given the chance to make an unselfish choice. . . an incredible sacrifice. This brave woman is a birth mother; she chooses life for her child and makes an adoption plan. She labors and delivers and LOVES her child just like any other mother. She is not giving up on that child- not giving away that child. . . but giving TO that child. Just as Jesus gives us life, and life ABUNDANTLY, this birth mother is choosing to give more to her child than she can currently give. What courage it takes. . . How humbling it is to recognize her heart. Her strength. Her pain. . . These courageous birth mothers deserve honor, desire support, and need prayers. Let’s join together in thanking God for their choice of life and love, asking Him to provide for their deepest needs and heart’s desires.

intricate.

2010-10-27T20:46:00.000-07:00

have you realized lately-

how INTRICATE
God is?

have you taken a step back
and allowed yourself to see

EVERY way He is present in every day

it's not ever by chance.
that you meet who you do at the gas station
or bump into an old classmate at the grocery store
or have an opportunity to share a piece of your story
or are encouraged at just the right moment by just the right person.

and that's just YOU we're talking about

think about all that's happened in those other lives to get you to that place you're at.
together.

i.
had.
an.
amazing.
expereince.
today.

so humbled that I was invited to be a part of it . . .
so moved by HIS movement.

so floored by His love
so surrounded by His presence.

so BELIEVING and KNOWING that He never.
EVER

leaves or forsakes.

ten.

2010-10-25T19:57:00.000-07:00

thank you, Rita Springer, for being on groove shark for me to enjoy tonight. . .

it's 10. . . it feels like 2.

sometimes, it's 10, and it feels like 6

and sometimes, it's 10- and it feels like 10

I'm speaking a night of peaceful rest. of restoration. of everything i need to prepare for another 4 hours in the car tomorrow, and my week at the hospital, with a courageous young woman, making a choice of love, for the precious life inside of her.

looking forward to kissing that baby's face . . . that face of hope and a future- that face of selfless love and sacrifice and provision and bravery. . .

it moves me.
it stirs my spirit

it makes me a little nervous and keeps me up at night because i. cannot. imagine. . . i cannot imagine being that amazing young woman, when everything inside and outside of me - biologically and socially and even mentally and emotionally . . . says "parent. parent. parent." she'll produce milk for a child that won't latch on. she'll lose the weight she gained while that little life nested in her. she'll probably have stretch marks and a weaker bladder and whatever else our body naturally does after giving birth . . .

and it makes me sick that adoption is not celebrated more. . . has such this weird stigma and it shouldn't, because it's such a difficult & beautiful and incredible sacrifice.

God authored adoption.

so many thoughts right now. . .

hold me, Jesus- it's ten and it's bed time!

2010-10-24T19:16:00.001-07:00

I know that You are for me-

can i get some TRUTH up in here?!

2010-10-21T17:50:00.001-07:00

i've had a pretty consistent feeling of wanting to 1. puke and 2. cry today. . .

satan.

truly though, to be present in those feelings, to allow God to comfort me in this nervousness, is good- no stuffing. just

being.

Now here is what I know:

I know He is Truth. Light. Love. Peace. . .

I know He has equipped me to do ALL things that He calls me to.

I know He rescues me . . . meets me where I'm at. . . walks beside me and leads me and surrounds me. . . He's SO everywhere. . . which I SO need.

and I know these feelings need to be surrendered. . .

I am not inadequate. I am perfectly capable.

here's the background:

my first birth mother delivers next week.

and.

I wish I could know exactly what to expect to be prepared. I wish I wasn't nervous about walking into a new hospital, I've never seen- parking in the parking deck (24 years with flat parking lots. . . can you blame a girl for being a little anxious about the parking deck?) - I wish I could protect this young woman of any unnecessary words spoken against her heart.

but where is the TRUST in that? Where is abundant life and freedom & knowing Him to work out all things, if I already know how they work out?

I'll leave this blog where it's at- and lay and let Him speak to me in this moment, about all this. . .

and I'll be back to let you know how He was present in every moment- how His PEACE surpassed all understanding and how God uses this to paint a beautiful picture of His love, redemption, restoration, and wholeness.

so until then. . . believe Him for these things, in this moment, for these precious lives intertwining in the Ham. . .

thank you

choice. . .

2010-10-11T19:39:00.000-07:00

today, I and two other precious ladies had a choice to make. . .

we chose to come together as sisters- daughters of the King- HEIRS. . . co workers - friends

and pray.

and the choice was presented by one:

"Are we lifting people up? Or are we getting down and dirty?"

and we.
got.
DOWN!
on our faces.
in the middle of our office.

we laid it out. we interceded. we confessed. we allowed God to be PRESENT and His Spirit to SPEAK and that space to be HOLY GROUND. We allowed Him to MOVE and ourselves to be vulnerable and shaken. . .

GOD made that happen. His SON, walking this earth, dying on a cross, bringing the Kingdom, His Spirit. . . HE MADE IT POSSIBLE. . . ACCESSIBLE. . . AVAILABLE. . .

to come before Him in confidence- unashamed- and ROWDY for an awakening and rising up inside of us.

for a MOVEMENT. for healing. for WHOLENESS in deep places. . .

for SPIRIT. for grace and understanding and PERFECT LOVE that casts out fear. for HIM.

We laid hands. we held hands. We allowed each other space to share . . . not by telling stories or even by conversation but through prayers to our Father. OUR FATHER in Heaven.

and I tell you what . . .

To be present with others in His PRESENCE. . .
to BE PRESENT. with others. in HIS Presence.

that.
is

breathtaking...

to BELIEVE and HOPE and SPEAK our desires for HIS KINGDOM on earth AS IT IS IN HEAVEN. . . to LONG for that and know that it is AVAILABLE TO US as we SEEK Him and believe Him for it. . .

there just are no words in some moments- only those Holy Spirit sounds that I LOVEEEEEE. . . Those moments when something is welling so deep inside the inner man the flesh cannot even put into words because it is not OF this world it is of GOD...

but He KNOWS. . . oh how He knows and how we can know Him. . .

What a beautifully ordained moment- made possibly by the King of Kings, the God of the Universe, the Lover of our Souls. . .

Thank You, Jesus...

safe space

2010-10-08T22:22:00.001-07:00

let's just talk about how great blogging is.

1. it's just nice to get it out. I choose to do this in a number of ways. Praying. Journaling. Calling a friend. Sometimes even drawing a picture or writing a note to someone. . . but the blog. there's beauty in the blog- putting it out there in 'space' . . . whether or not somebody reads it, it's just cool that it can be out there.

2. i love the community it builds. I love having insight into the lives and hearts of some friends who aren't close in distance, and maybe haven't even been a 'bestie' in my life- but they are dear friends, with precious hearts, and great insight, and a great life to share. . .

and I love to share in that life. I'm taking the time to realize the importance of being still, and being present in every moment- of wearing LOVE and being LOVE. . .if I'm at the gas station, or starbucks, or at work, holding a baby, holding the hand of a birth mother. . . if I'm Hays home with my family or stuck in traffic on 280. . it's all a moment to allow God to be Sovereign. . . it's all a moment to allow Him to teach and lead me!

people who don't blog miss out. people who don't keep up with blogs miss out. Sure, it's a commitment. . .and it really does go in seasons for me. . . I'd say right now, i prefer it over twitter. and- even over facebook.

i want to share my heart in a safe place.
thank you, blogging buds, for allowing me to do that
and trusting me to read your safe space as well!

stirring. . .

2010-10-06T20:06:00.000-07:00

I have a drive tomorrow-
3 hours to visit with a birth mom and connect with some sweet ladies at a pregnancy center.

and 3 hours back to the Ham. (yes. . . that's 6 hours in the car. which equals a venti something from Starbucks in the morning, some Sonic happy hour on the way home, and lots of jams in the car. . . plus some pod casts)

I'm so excited. . . LOVE the birth mom I am working with and that we have some time to really build a relationship before baby is born . . .

(I just wish I was already sleeping. . . seeing as I'll get a solid 7 hours if I fall asleep right NOW. . . )

but there's so much stirring:

I got a new call today- a sweet 16 year old . . . it's coming to fruition. This desire in my heart started 8 years ago. . . to work with teen moms- or to work in adoption. This is my second 'client' who is a " two in one"" for me. . . THESE PLACES these women are in. . . it takes my breath away.

and

I had my 2nd "hang up" today. .

which is hard for me. not because I feel like I fail or say something wrong.

but because I hear in their voice. . I hear the fear. I hear the hesitation. I hear the hurt and the unknowing and the courage it takes to call. . . and I LONG to reach OUT- even if just through the phone, to wrap my arms around them, hold them, and let them feel SAFE. LOVED. SURROUNDED. & SUPPORTED... to let them tell their story, that starts long before pregnancy and will continue to develop after. . .

I want them to know GOD- the KINGDOM of God- His WHOLENESS and HEALING and love for them. I want them to know they are WORTHY. . .

I want them to know how much they are LOVED. . . and how PRECIOUS the life is inside of them.

that they CAN. CHOOSE. LIFE

just like we can choose life. and not just merely live or struggle through or trudge along. . . but to live an ABUNDANT, FULL life-

*deep breath* I know He's in this. He's in all of this. He is Sovereign. Beginning to the end.

Col 1:18-20 *He was supreme in the beginning and—leading the resurrection parade—he is supreme in the end. From beginning to end he's there, towering far above everything, everyone. So spacious is he, so roomy, that everything of God finds its proper place in him without crowding. Not only that, but all the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe—people and things, animals and atoms—get properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies, all because of his death, his blood that poured down from the cross.

The Message (MSG)

He is SO intricate. . . weave it together, Lord. . . this beautiful tapestry is YOURS and Yours alone. . .

healing!

2010-10-01T21:25:00.000-07:00

a word i passed onto a sweet friend today

that is worth saying again

to anyone who happens to read this
and need it. . .

God knows your hurt. . . He knows your heart. . . and He knows your HEALING. . .

the healing that's happened in your life and WILL happen in your life

BELIVE. HIM. FOR. IT!

LIFE

2010-09-25T23:56:00.001-07:00

i. am. so. many. things. right. now

mostly humbled to be called to such a beautiful place.

it takes my breath away

life. . . . LIFE. that's my word of the month.

every LIFE has such a STORY to share and in that story- SO. MUCH.

what gets me most are the hurt and hard places - - -

which leave so much room for His GRACE and MERCY and LOVE. . . for HEALING

our SAVIOR. saving these LIVES

showing His GLORY - leading me to LOVE. to walk beside people and go places with them I've never been. to take down some walls and guards and be vulnerable. to not fear being alone but walking in the confidence that I am NEVER alone. . .

that sometimes, when I tried to "safe guard" my life, i was pushing away community
& other good things the Lord had for me. . .

sometimes, the very things we do to protect us from getting 'hurt', hurt us . . .

but our God is a God of redemption and restoration and forgiveness and love.

He called TWELVE disciples, not ONE. I am not content anymore just being content. . . I know every single day He has something NEW and GREAT for me. . .

I'm embracing that. running to that. living in that.

loving. HIM <3 loving THIS > > >

LIFE.

my 1st Lifeline Blog :)

2010-09-21T18:56:00.001-07:00

have I mentioned

I love my job?

time.

2010-08-29T18:53:00.000-07:00

nothin' says Jesus like a $2 iced white mocha at church . . .

I liked where I went today. It was Celebration X 205 . . .

but it was nice. . .I can see me always enjoying service there. . .

. . .

but I'm still trusting in His leading . . .

time <3

might could.

2010-08-18T17:06:00.001-07:00

dear latenight Starbucks inhabitors:

I love that we're here together. It's a good sense of peace, being here. I feel it. I feel you letting go of the day and being. just being. this is where i need to be.

and all three of the words after "dear" are underlined in red, and I don't care. I might could change them so they are proper, but this is the South- sometimes talkin' proper isn't proper at all :)

the word of the week is: processing. getting in contact with my heart and feelings and life and job and living 16.25 hours from what was formerly known as 'home' and all that entails. . .

but it's good. He's good.

embracing imperfection. That's the truth of the day- knowing that His grace is sufficient in every place I am not- - - and that's a lot of places. Knowing that He fills the gaps, that He NEEDS to fill the gaps, that he makes me less than perfect for a reason- because HE IS. . .

and i am who He made me to be- created in Him, with a purpose. that is being fulfilled.

here.

so
it's good.
He's Good.

and I'm doing good, too. Although the black-olive hummus I bought is not top of the list. but we'll talk about that another day.

it's love

2010-08-02T19:57:00.001-07:00

i.
love.
my.
job

thank you, Jesus-
that this wait. . . this TRUSTING in you

brought way more blessing than I could imagine !

Sweet Home!

2010-07-16T22:19:00.000-07:00

in 2 weeks I will be living in Alabama

. . .

so glad I chose to wait on the Lord (Is 30:18)

Every day I see a little piece of the bigger picture.

My heart is so full of joy

It's in me. HE'S in me. It's time. I'm ready :) Sweeeet homeee Alabama!

Love Gives me Hope

2010-07-08T14:26:00.000-07:00

have you checked out this site?

www.lovegivesmehope.com

ah. loveeee

why I love google-

2010-06-30T12:11:00.000-07:00

because you can find anything. unless you really need it then you usually cannot.

example:

I googled- "how to dance at the club"

inspired by some of the awfully awkward moves i saw the other night (it wasn't really a club, mind you, but same idea)

found some hysterical you tube videos

and these stellar quotes:

Some styles of partner dancing can be sexually charged. Even if you're with a partner who is comfortable with this, don't confuse public and private behavior. It's dancing, not baby-making

Things to Avoid on the Dance Floor

Don't clap, point, snap or start the disco train. The party has started. It doesn't need your help. In general, you're trying to blend in, not draw attention to yourself by shouting out the lyrics to songs or starting dance battles.
Grope, bump, stare or invade anyone else's space in any way whatsoever. If you're a guy, this is especially true. Women don't like to be touched, grabbed or otherwise assaulted on the dance floor. You also shouldn't flail around. Bumping into people and spilling their drinks won't win you any friends. So, create a little space for yourself and stick to it.
Don't drink too much. Having a drink or two to help you loosen up is fine. Downing half a bottle of liquid courage is a problem. If you're drunk, you're more likely to bump into people and execute some ill-advised moves.
Don't jump up and down. Unless you're participating in some sort of crowd-pleasing rendition ofHouse of Pain's "Jump Around," save pogo-ing for the under 8 crowd.
Don't stare at the floor. It makes you look stiff and overly-serious unless, of course, you're in a goth club. If you're in a goth club, stare away.
Leave the DJ alone. If there's a song playing that you love and don't know what it is, by all means, ask the DJ. Don't, however, tell the DJ how to do his or her job by requesting songs or a new style of music. This may be acceptable at a wedding. In a nightclub, it's just annoying. The DJ isn't there to cater to your personal tastes. He or she is a professional trying to get the whole place moving.
Avoid any situation where you're in the middle of the circle, in a soul train line or in any other way "on stage." You're not John Travolta. You're just a guy or gal enjoying the music

2010-01-01T15:43:00.000-08:00

it's too cold in Kansas.

how about a tropical cruise. warm beach. virgin daiquiris. sunglasses. something. . . anything.

warm hotel room will do!

it's 1/1/10. . . full swing with a 2 week+ nanny gig, huge expectations for '10 and being a grown up.

love it

stories.

2009-06-20T14:55:00.000-07:00

Life never ceases to amaze me. . . I was driving through a small town the other day, watching a woman carrying boxes out of her house and children playing down the street and cars passing by in the other lane. . .

and it took my breath away. There were probably five-hundred people living in that little town. Which means:

Five-hundred different lives. Young, Old, Happy, Sad, Sick, Healthy, Leaving, Coming, Hopeless, Healed. . . all encompassed in that sweet small town. Five-hundred different stories.

Some people hide their stories; they duck behind busyness, crazy lives, half-hearted smiles and merely exist. Others share their stories willingly...

and it is because of one person's story that I have been changed...

encouraged. blessed. MOVED to make a difference.

cancer. cancer. cancer. cancer. There is no way to sugar-coat or simplify it. I don't have cancer- but I know a lot of people who do. . . TOO many! Even ONE person is too many for me-

Thanks to my dear friend Teresa and her "Little Handbook of Cancer Etiquette" I am equipped to face it and fight- to stand by my friends and family instead of cower in fear. I am ready to do what I can to be a part of the BIGGER battle.

Everybody has a story- and EVERYONE'S story is worth sharing! Start with Teresa's and be moved!

(email TERESA (soulart02@hotmail.com) to purchase her book-

save a life!

2009-06-17T14:41:00.000-07:00

I made two goals to meet before the end of the month- 1. donate blood and 2. register on the marrow list as a potential donor

. . . I registered online today for the marrow list. There are millions of stories to be told, faces to see, people who are waiting, people who have died waiting. . .

YOU could save a life. Most people instantly think "It REALLY HURTS to give bone marrow". . . it starts with a cheek swab, folks...

Maybe someday you will receive that phone call saying: YOU could save the LIFE of a child- or an adult- a mother- a son- you'll realize you are helping someone fight, live, & survive! I guarantee you are brave enough to give something so simple- (in the grand scheme of things) think of all the things these patients go through EVERY single day...

Sign Up! Recruit a friend! Promise to stand together on every leg of a journey and don't let FEAR hold you back from being a HERO

www.marrow.org
These codes allow you to register on line at no cost until June 22, 2009: Marrow493LC and BTM493LC

H.I.S.

2009-02-24T19:57:00.000-08:00

has it really been a whole year without grandma?

. . .

"wish I could see the angels faces

when they hear your sweet voice sing"

. . . (Vince Gill, Go Rest High on that Mountain)

*little things

2009-02-20T01:14:00.001-08:00

I wish I had $1 for everytime I got on facebook and said,

"when did they have a baby"

or

"they're MARRIED?"

thank you, internet, for online networking. I honestly love it!

I've been realizing lots of things about *me* lately. things that have defined who I am and who I will be- even weird things, like how much I LOVED (and still do) Up Up with People- and even though I never got to "be" one, that idea of travel and diversity grew in my heart- as I belted that song in the car today *and missed my exit* I was reminded of just how much our hosted students meant to my young heart!

ever since the 7th grade I've wanted to get those little beaded flowers in my hair- b/c one of my buddies, a cool girl in school, came back from a cruise with her hair braided with the little beaded flowers. It only took me 10 years to fulfill that dream :D I've gotten the braids numerous times, but thank you, Progresso Mexico, and this sweet woman, who gave me beaded FLOWERS.

it's the little things. . .

fly that flag!

2009-02-10T07:28:00.000-08:00

I'm back.
I'm refreshed

God spoke so much truth into my life and heart

and one thing I felt SO strongly about
was

I'm not afraid
to be who God made me to be

I'm letting His light- and joy- shine.
and sometimes, it looks a little crazy to other people

and sometimes, it's just what they need.

thank You for this life!

2009-02-02T09:14:00.000-08:00

I love KS airports, MCI and ICT both have free, wireless internet. Which is perfect for the 1 hour delay before the flight. I'm going to stow my huge book bag overhead and sit with my Angela Thomas book and Ipod.

Favorite Reads of the past few months:

The Shack

Do You Think I'm Beautiful

Good Morning, Holy Spirit.

Loved them- all- read them- fast. and I've been listening to a book on CD. . . "Sister chicks in sombreros" that is marvelous as well

I'm embarking on a little sisterchick cruise- I probably won't purchase a sombrero but I am so excited for some fun in the sun- some fellowship- and learning even more how REAL God is.

My heart aches thinking of life without Him- and I'm not just talking about people who don't go to church. I'm talking about people who do, and haven't grasped the fullness of walking in Him- a relationship, a Spirit-filled life of truly LOVING Him... and others... and even yourself.

I love the place I'm in- and I love what God's doing that I haven't even seen yet . . .

2009-01-24T00:46:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited for the cruise
I could vomit.

my cruise shirts :) Getaway, GIRL (front) Love my GGs (back)

2009-01-16T23:08:00.000-08:00

hug

2009-01-13T23:10:00.000-08:00

i want to hug Courtney

God provides.

2009-01-08T20:21:00.000-08:00

The first time this 'season' I've seen this in action was after receiving my first paycheck. I thought it would total the entire last cycle (we get paid on the fifteenth- so I figured I'd get paid for every sub job up to the 15th). . .but we get paid for the sub jobs for the month before (which totally makes sense now). but when I realized that, and only got $200 and I was expecting $600, it was slightly shocking

Until some sweet friends mailed me a check for $200- God put it on their heart to send me a little money to help me out. The exact same day I got my paycheck. I hadn't even told anybody what happened- it all just kind of simultaneously appeared. Cool, huh?

and now I realize it's not always a check in the mail that God provides- He's already provided me with sub jobs for this month, and I was a little nervous considering we just got off a 2 week break. But I even have teachers requesting me now :) which is another way that God reassures me that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing for this season

I have the opportunity to love on some 6th graders who have the rep for being a tough class tomorrow. I am excited and my plan is to wake up early, grab some coffee and go in with a heart ready to love.

cheers!

2009-01-01T13:11:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited for another year

when a sweet friend quoted Isaiah 30:18 in her twitter, I knew it was my verse for 2009. I knew it because I am waiting for God's next step for me- I know He's doing a good work in me, and He has plans. I know because not only am I waiting, but He is waiting- because His timing is perfect, and He knows what is best- He knows exactly what He created me for, and it's happening....

I love that the verse has the word "mercy" in it because I am doing just that- holding out for Mercy Ministries. I know when the time comes, if that is not where God has called me I will be exstatic about wherever I am... but that home is my heart cry and I believe in God's promises to give me the desires of my heart. I believe that He blesses our patience and I believe His plan for me right now is right where I'm at. . . but I don't think I'll be there for long!

I believe the Holy Spirit is going to continue to grow and move in my life in huge ways this year- I will hear His voice a little crisper- feel discernment and understanding in my heart a little more clearly. I am going to grow in God's love and understanding and wisdom. I am His child. He is my Abba.

The season I am in right now is so good. There is so much joy in my heart and Jesus by my side- not that He hasn't always been- but I'm finally aware of just how much He is apart of my life.

and it only leaves me wanting more! *Cheers* to a new year!

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-19T06:39:00.000-08:00

Christmas break has officially begun- I am on the road to Manhattan then to Hays tomorrow!

I cannot wait to spend time with family. friends. head to Arizona for a precious wedding. pack for the CrUiSe

God is stirring things in my life. I love that never-failing desire to know Him more, follow Him closer, and do whatever He wants!

. . . to my fabulous bloggin' peeps.
I *love* you! Have a happy happy holiday season!

2008-12-15T22:34:00.000-08:00

things I need include: God. Jesus. Holy Spirit. Love. Fellowship. Church (not a building- but a community)

things I want.

an i touch.

James 1:4

2008-12-07T21:17:00.000-08:00

I got to see a dear dear friend on Saturday- she was pivital in my walk with God and truly challenged me to love Jesus first- to give Him my life- and my heart- my hurts and my dreams. . . she invested a lot into me and I am who I am today because of her!

Yes yes- I love her dearly! We were updating each other and talking about absolutely everything- b/c that's what we do. . . and when I explained to her about hanging out where I'm at and holding out for God's best for me (maybe Mercy Ministries. . . maybe something different...) she quoted part of James <1:4>

So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. (MSG)

Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (NKJV)

So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. (NIV)

How can I not love that? And cling on to it? God is good

:)

2008-11-26T22:41:00.001-08:00

I've moved from flip flops to flats

from sweats to sub suits.

I've moved from fear to freedom

and I keep on movin.

. . . answers?

2008-11-23T20:54:00.001-08:00

What's next, God. . .

What's next?

job offers? open doors? I'm good with being patient but I don't want to be passive. . .

I'm so excited for next year and the longer I think about staying, the longer I want to stay.

Which doesn't mean I don't want to leave now. Or that I'm afraid- or that I'm getting comfortable. . . over-comfortable

I think I'm just willing to adapt to whatever.
wherever.

whenever.

but God- what's next?

:)

2008-11-16T19:15:00.001-08:00

I'm making my life soundtrack

because I can :)

<3

2008-11-10T07:57:00.001-08:00

Nash was incredible

The girls stole my heart :) I expected them to be a little closed off-

they were completely opposite. They were so open and so wanting to be loved.

I'm loving this season even more and knowing God's plan is so good- whatever it may be!

I left a little of my heart in Nash- and brought a little of the heart of Mercy back to KS

2008-11-08T08:12:00.001-08:00

have I Mentioned
how excited I am?

today is going to be an awesome day.

love this life

2008-11-07T09:56:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited for what's happening right now in my life and in my heart

if I tried to explain it, it might not make sense- because there's so much. and my thought process is usually a little weird to other people- but here's a piece :)

I'm in Nashville, TN right now. Tomorrow I'll get to see for the first time and first hand my 'dream job'. I'm going to a concert and will get to see Mercy Ministries (www.mercyministries.org) . The first time I heard about this ministry- in 2005- at Girls of Grace- I fell in love. . . with the work they do, the girls they serve, and the God they portray.. it's my heart's desire. It's what I want to do- minister and love young women right where they're at- and help them get to a place where they can understand just how worthy, and precious, and valuable they are to God and the world. If not there, then somewhere- but learning about the ministry for the first time started to grow that hope and desire in me and it hasn't stopped.

I was talking to a good friend about this today and saw how for the past 3 years God's been opening doors to make this trip happen today.

and I'm so excited for whatever may come!

breakaway

2008-10-27T19:59:00.000-07:00

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly

I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky

And I'll make a wish

Take a chance

Make a change

And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sOn

But I won't forget all the ones that I love

I'll take a risk

Take a chance

Make a change

And breakaway

I thought of this song when I was driving to school this morning.
and actually heard it on the radio when I was picking up the kids.

Thank you, radio Disney.

. . .

2008-10-26T13:18:00.000-07:00

I applied for a job in Memphis

and I can't wait to see what happens.

Whether or not I even get an interview- it's such a fun faith step in this journey.

Plus, I'm going to Nashville in 11 days. Yay :) I'm going to make connections and tour a place I've always wanted to be

God is so good to me. and I know He'll protect me and provide!

Abba's Child, Brennan Manning

2008-10-21T18:24:00.000-07:00

According to Viktor Frankl, a person finds identity only to the extent that "he commits himself to something beyond himself, to a cause greater than himself." The meaning of our lives emerges in the surrender of ourselves to an adventure of becoming who we are not yet.

Pg 157

*and that's my life in a nutshell

I'm ready for the next step...

missin. ..

2008-10-18T10:10:00.000-07:00

the family I live with is visitng their grandparents.

so I have the whole day 'off'

it's weird. a little lonely. a little refreshing. mostly weird.

kinda missing my friends- mostly my women-folk I bff with.

Courtney, I wouldn't mind if you kidnapped me :)

I'm not sad. Or lonely. I'm just- here alone. Haven't quite met that 'community' yet... and maybe I won't? I probably won't be here long-

so I'm going to a contemporary church service tonight. B/c I miss rockin' out with the bass guitar :) It should be fun. I don't mind chillin' in the back, not knowing anyone. I just love the music.

hmm.

?

2008-10-17T19:47:00.001-07:00

i am so blessed.

. . .

I wonder where I'll be in a year
even in 6 months...

hmmm

random. but it all makes sense up here points to head

2008-10-14T21:22:00.000-07:00

a year ago:

I was still in school
I was dating someone I may have settled on marrying
I was exhausted- from school, dance, work, and relationships
I lived in Hays, at home

I didn't really give restoring those family friendships a chance
I slept too little and sold myself short

I was a little more insecure
...Taking care of myself a little less

I was content. I was okay. I was happy. I was worn out. I was a little bit of everything

Today I realized just how far I've come- and how exciting it is to keep going farther in faith...

life changes

2008-10-13T16:24:00.000-07:00

I've graduated from Disney Channel to TLC (can't stand the fake laugh track- I'm intrigued by the Duggars. And I can never get enough of John and Kate)

I'm basically a full time substitute teacher- and I love it. I've caught up on some books I've been waiting to read... and learned a lot more about social work in the process

I go to bed earlier and wake up easier.

my choice in music is more often acoustic and calm than crazy and silly

I'm distracted, because I like to focus on one or two things at a time- not 19 or 20

I've slown down

:)

welcome back!

2008-10-08T21:58:00.000-07:00

don't worry.
Laptawnyuh is home. yay!

I just want people to know how much Jesus loves, and heals, and forgives. . . I don't think it's relative whether or not I'm disappointed.

princess!

2008-09-26T21:10:00.000-07:00

What part of the Christian lifestyle makes others think relationship with Jesus is a religion?

I don't LIKE being described as 'religious'

I know I should be grateful that my life is speaking something- that it's obvious I live for Jesus.

I just didn't want people thinking I am some crazy radical who is judging them because I love Jesus and they don't

I am not a religious child

I am a daughter of the King of Kings

princess :D

m. i. h

2008-09-22T22:03:00.000-07:00

in substitute taught today for a special ed class
and loved it so much.
loved the para I worked with
and i was totally blessed by the kids.
here's a fun blog to read and contribute to: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=30715564&blogID=435266397

this was mine:
modest is hottest: being hot, defined by the world, is the picture of a flawless, fit, airbrushed beauty who screams "less is more"- weight wise, clothing wise, and even as an individual. there's a mold the world wants us to fit into that is artificial and suffocating. counteracting that with true modesty allows for one's honest, individual, God-created spirit to shine- without the distraction of the world's ways. Modest is hottest encourages one to embrace God's true call on our lives- to live as women confident in who we are in Him- not women wrapped up in the world's unfairness

2008-09-18T11:14:00.001-07:00

unofficially

licensed

social worker

in the state

pass.

12 hours

2008-09-17T19:03:00.001-07:00

12 hours is the exact time my state social work licensing exam is set for

$275 to prove I am competent enough to practice social work in the state of Kansas

I know God's bigger than this test- than the $275 and the hours of studying and the anxiety. This test is nothing in the scheme of things, I'll look back on it and say "oh man, I can't believe how worked up I got"

I just have this fear (I know, ugly word) of having to tell people it took me 2- or 3 times to pass.

I am so capable of passing this test. I am going to bed early, and tomorrow morning, I am going to think clearly, process, and believe that I can pass.

and hopefully, I'll post to you that I did. eeeeee

my girl

2008-09-14T23:23:00.000-07:00

oh Laptawnyuh.

please be okay.

the sweetest girl

2008-09-14T21:51:00.000-07:00

Life is so good- have I said yet how much I am loving Hutch? Because I am- I haven't started subbing or working anywhere, but I have my plan and I am basking in God's love and goodness. The family here is such a blessing to be around- I love being the 'big sister', I loved church today, and my heart seems to soar a little more and more as time passes.

I take my licensing exam Thursday- when it comes down to it, I know God's bigger than a SocialWork license... I can be completely calm and then mostly anxious all in the same breath. When it's all said and done, I will be thankful I spent the money and tried my best- it's just going to be a sketchy few days.

I took my 'little sister' to a Corbin Bleu concert tonight- I was disappointed that a show populated by an average age of like, 10 year old girls was so inappropriate. Skimpy dressed dancers rubbin up on Corbin Bleu- not my idea of a Disney concert. He did have an encouraging message but seriously, lose the dry humping on stage.

On that note, one of the coolest moments was actually during the Justin Stein (I know, who?) opening act. He sang this song called "sweetest girl" and went out into the audience and held the girls' hands and sang into their eyes and made them scream- it was so cute. But he stopped by this precious teenager in a wheelchair, sang to her, and made her feel like a special princess- because she is- and she deserved his attention and time. I am almost positive she's pushed to the side and lost in the crowd, but for that moment she was the sweetest girl.

I nearly wept.

craft time!

2008-09-06T21:06:00.000-07:00

I visited my bud in Manhattan and she bought these cute brown-cardboard letters for me to decorate. The final project turned out fabulous (see above)

*** IT definitely is time to get the computer fixed. I'd rather spend money on gas to visit friends- maybe it can hold out a LITTLE longer- until I actually get some sub jobs. The paperwork is 'rushed' though, and I'm hoping by next week everything is squared away and I'm subbing :)

I went to a neat church tonight- the sermon rocked. My fav. part was when he talked about the Prov.22.16 (or is it 6) verse about training up children in the way they should go- and when they are old, they will not depart from it. The pastor explained that we are not cookie-cutter people.. that trianing up a child means becoming an 'expert' and understanding who God made each and every one of your children to be- they're not the same- they're differnet. You have to nurture the individual spirits in them... love them where they're at and learn who they are in Him to guide them in the right direction.

it was cool. . . God is so fabulously wonderful. I love my life. and I love where I'm at--- and excited for where He's taking me!

Spirt- leading vs. guilt

2008-08-31T22:13:00.000-07:00

i had a revelation today. it was little. it was a little thing- but it's huge.

a couple weeks ago I talked to a friend to tell her of my labor day plans (nannying) and to see if she'd be around for a play date. she said that she would be gone with her family for the day- for a moment I almost offered to watch her dog but decided against it because she hadn't asked me to dog sit for awhile and I didn't want to seem pushy or weird.

so anyway, we talked today and she mentioned how they are leaving the dog alone all day in the backyard- and said if I heard her yapping to love on her, please.

I know it was not just me considering offering my dog sitting services. I know the Spirit wanted me know she needed some dog help. in all things, great and small, trivial seeming or serious. He is there.

but the revelation came in realizing how often I am 'confused' by thinking the Spirit is a leading fueled often by guilt... "how do you know God doesn't want you to _*fill in a ministry blank*_". Some of the most sure leadings are not those I do because I feel like I have to- rather, the ones that come from deep within, a knowing without being positive but simply believing.

yea yea. it's just a dog. but it's huge.

on another note, I saw a classmate and her wife at the mall this weekend. The classmate, who used to be into some type of witchcraft-weird stuff, talked to me about her new walk with God, her experiences at church, and her child's Bible that helps her understand God more than the NIV for now. Does God want people to marry the same sex? no. but could He use that circumstance for them to find Him? absolutely. who am I to judge? I'll love them where they're at and leave it to Him.

thoughts.

2008-08-26T21:41:00.000-07:00

I am applying to be a sub in the Hutch School District
and at the Hutch High daycare.

God reminded me of this summer- of a moment He helped me dust off some shelves in my heart that contained a book of dreams I had buried...

I remembered my heart a little more. I forgot the things that have jaded it- other people's opinions, my fears, finances. and I remembered what it felt like to just want to love people

then He brought the "give me Your eyes" song into my heart. and I got excited. I got excited to be a sub and love kids of all ages where they are at- poverty or not. I got excited to work away from what I've always known

2 things made me think of China today. 1. this Bible verse: (Matthew 25:)
34Then the king will say to those at his right hand, “Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; 35for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.”

*** I've helped feed the hungry. I've given drinks to the thirsty. I've welcomed strangers. I've given my clothes to people who need them more than me. The moment I heard "I was sick..." I thought of http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/ and the possiblity that Wendy shared with me...

hmm. instance #2 was when I lightly mentioned it to the babysitting fam and the husband got so excited and was very encouraging about the prospect. "We'll even help you with your ticket if that is what it takes"

have I Mentioned how BLESSED I am?

I did have a moment of frustration today- I'm flying. I'm being me. I'm leaving. but I still have someone say... "so and so actually KNOWS the manager of the Starbucks in Hutch. I told her to tell him that you'd be a good worker and to give you the job."

NO- It's not like that this time. We're not going to take things into our own hands. We're going to let Michelle be MICHELLE in Hutch. Not this person's friend or this person's daughter or this person's babysitter.

It's a new beginning. Not that the past doesn't matter or it isn't part of who I am. But I am constantly pulled two ways- the people who refuse to believe I Have a life outside of Hays and the people who refuse to let me stay here any longer.

I can't even describe how much joy I feel in my heart right now though. Honestly- I'm in such a good place... and it's only getting better.

temp...

2008-08-25T13:29:00.000-07:00

so I did not get hired at starbucks- which is okay! God's hand is in all of this- and who knows how long I'll be here. The fun news is I have a big closet, fun family to live with, and neat environment- very encouraging and such!

my next step is to apply as a substitute teacher- haha. and get licensed. If that falls through, I'll look into a temp employment agency.

but where I'm at is so good. and I'm so excited for what is next, too! I'm loving where God has me, though!

oh yes- and I got a free Starbucks drink for applying :) the manager said he can't hire a temp- they need a 6-8 month comittment per store. A lot of people have told me I should have just worked and quit when I needed to- I didn't like that idea. I'm going to do things this way- the way I feel God is leading ME.

so good. He's so good to me!

tomorrow is a special day...

2008-08-24T22:45:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning- in hopefully 5 hours or so (unless I'm exhausted) I am driving to Hutchinson, Kansas.

I am walking into Starbucks

and interviewing for a job.

and I am so excited.
Come what may. No matter what happens- I know God's working His way in me. I know He's protecting me, guarding me, and guiding me.

I'm just not 100% sure where He's taking me.

but I know for a short amount of time- it's Hutch.
and I am excited to see what comes out of that...

don't cry over spilled... coffee?

2008-08-19T09:06:00.000-07:00

inevitable:

when nannying for children

something will get lost: (lip gloss lid)

something will get spilled: (iced hazelnut coffee from McD's... at least it wasn't Starbucks)

something will get broken: (the clasp to my favorite locket...)

it makes me realize those, just how precious life is and just how temporary 'things' are.

I was pretty sad about the coffee, though.

hot granny

2008-08-18T13:30:00.001-07:00

I was at McDonalds today for FOUR hours with the nannying kids (thank you, McDonalds play place- for video games and the indestructable tree house.) These kids are monkeys-

I love how laid back their mom is and hope I can let go a little and let my kids be kids. "They can slide down the banister but not walk on it- no going on the roof when you're here, they can wait until we get back. Oh and no climbing the trees past the first branches-" I laughed, "haha, they don't really climb on the roof?"

I was answered by the sound of tiny, clomping footsteps on the roof. "tell the kids this is their last time until we get back!"

wow. but even more hysterical was the child at McDonalds today, who, after his grandma went to get a coke walked over to me shyly and said, "I just wanted you to know I am a reporter"

This is what he showed me:

it says: reporter gets kissed by a girl. hot girl. by Collin

I hope Collin's grandma doesn't find this blog. or his mom or any extended family. I waited until his grandma left again and asked him if I could see 'his story'. I couldn't resist. I needed evidence.

lovin this

2008-08-17T20:28:00.000-07:00

It's been a good couple of weeks back home...

and the last few days have been pretty much non-stop nannying. It's made me realize a lot of things- about how I want to parent, run my household, etc. . .

random. but fun :)

I want to be a Starbucks barista. truly. and in a week- I'll hopefully have more direction in that matter.

75 more pages of Breaking Dawn. . . I'm so over vampires and werewolves for the rest of my lifetime!

ritz-y

2008-08-08T10:35:00.000-07:00

one more day at the fabulous ritz...

I've been reading old blog archives- hysterical. I'm a nerd sometimes- but it's cool to be reminded of what God's taught me through the last few years!

I've eaten my apple- had my watermelon water- sat on the beach and blogged. Now it's time to go lay out a little and finish the Historian so I can read Breaking Dawn when I get home :)

this vaca has gone so fast. . .

On other news, I'm getting excited for the little Hutch move. It feels right- I'm just not sure what my place of employment will be there. Hm. Minor details, right?

. . .

an array of dance photos

2008-08-07T11:56:00.001-07:00

It was my last year dancing for and teaching for Becky's School of dance. Here's a handful of fun last-show memories :) Life rocks.

fabulous FL

2008-08-06T22:10:00.000-07:00

my nanny vaca to FL rocks
I've had some learning experiences:

Instance one: bad weather=change of plans

"I'm sorry folks. we cant land in Atlanta due to the weather. We need to detour to Columbus for a few minutes"

this was after awful turbulance, a couple of awesome dry heaves on my part- which brought on some nasty nausia. Anyway... no worries. The two- hour delay in Columbus got us to Atlanta just in time to miss our flight.

so. one day was spent in GA instead of FL. We did get to glimpse a "sunburst: parade your daughter in rhinestoned evening wear- she can have her bottle later" competition. cute! on some degree.

Lessons learned: be flexible. exhaust all resources. Next time- listen to grandma's "pack an extra change of clothes and panties in your carry on" advice. Plus- stick with bonine. Equate wal-mart $5 for 100 motion sickness pills does not suffice. No thank you- leave your dry-heaves... I'll take the drowsiness.

*** I want to be the 'inspector gadget" of moms... carry everything I would need at any given moment in a tool belt- or in a purse or in a jacket pocket.
This is my dream

Somethings, you can not prepare for. Instance: "I have to go poopy"

not a big deal, right? particuarly for the kid you want potty-trained. BUT this was the 2nd announcement- and attempt- of poopy at the airport. I hurried w/ the squirming 3 year old to the potty and pulled down his pants as quick as I could- can't waste time! Then his little turd, which was nestling safely in his pull-up... rolled onto the airport floor.

dag. yes. I considered leaving it. No, I did not actually leave it. This is the same kid who initiated me into the "poop in the tub" club. (when you're bathing a child or two, and after a short commotion and kids jumping out of the tub you realize one of them has contaminated the water with a log, which you, as the adult, must fish out.)

blah. Always think of other things when touching fecal matter. And wash your hands thoroughly.

PS- the five second rule now NEVER applies.

Onto other things: Airports are fun places to meet people. And you may even find someone willing to do a trashy-magazine trade. Or someone who asks the family you're nannying for, "Is this your au pair". Which is a step up from a nanny. But nanny is a stretch in KS- so AU PAIR is way out of the ball park. It's fun, though. (No- you're not a piece of fruit, I was told)

Random fact: The Ritz Carlton on Amelia Island is the 4th best place to meet a rich man. Fact. I have not met one yet, at least not a 25 year old, single, man-of-God. I don't think I will, either, before the week is up. Just a hunch.

Cool things I have seen: dolphins. these clam shells that dig into the sand. An alligator farm. Some old fort- lots of happy people.

God is giving me time to rest my heart- be with Him- and enjoy life. Yay FL :) Yay JESUS

so worth it.

2008-08-06T21:38:00.000-07:00

I paid $20 for 3 days of internet time.

the connection is shady

but it was worth it. Not that I need facebook- or gmail. or to make a late checking account to credit card transaction (ugh. $39! I definitely NEEDED to do the transfer 2 days ago)

but I want it. The time on the beach is immaculate. I love nannying these kids and being with this family. I think God is putting me on a new schedule- less sleep- more work. Maybe YoungLives camp turned me into an insomiac.

The bottom line is. I can justify the $20. Onto the blog (it got a new screen shot. it was time for an upgrade. I'll add the blog onto my list as another journal to cycle through when I'm writing.)

Life rocks. This was worth the $20

belles

2008-07-30T22:20:00.000-07:00

Life's too short not to dress up with wings and "tinkerbell" (glitter) someone's porch

haha!

2008-07-30T22:19:00.000-07:00

This was one of my favorite moments of my life. Dancing to this crazy song and having my hair in braids. What could be better?

babies + licorice

2008-07-27T21:26:00.000-07:00

This growing up business...

2008-07-27T21:10:00.000-07:00

I left this hometown shell for 5 weeks

and my life was changed forever. . .

come what may.

I'm ready for what God wants.

no more feeling like I have to protect the past and be on guard.

I'm letting go a little more each and every day.

2008-06-30T19:32:00.001-07:00

http://auntcheladventures.blogspot.com/

2008-03-26T00:50:00.000-07:00

i am so excited for that 1. arizona sun 2. family time (def. not in that order)

and I can't wait to babysit in Hutch!

i love my life.

and I am so excited to graduate....

I'm so blessed

and Court- we should def. talk

rock that

2008-01-20T16:33:00.000-08:00

I don't need a Christian boy
I need a man of God
:)
and I'm willing to wait for that

I read about a home for teenage moms in Texas- it is for mommies finding a loving family for their babies

I think that would be incredible... to work there

sometimes I wonder...

2007-12-18T21:01:00.000-08:00

oh, and just for the record

I wasn't sleeping

I was trying not to cry

jerk

2007-11-27T11:01:00.001-08:00

JAIME JAM is coming

and I love you, best friend!

2007-10-04T11:14:00.001-07:00

My car is trying to die and go to heaven
why do they do that?

this time of life is so WEIRD... such a great unknown but exciting trusting God & knowing He has a plan & wants to take me somewhere. . .

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

where. oh where.

I still love my tat , BTW

yes.

2007-09-27T10:58:00.000-07:00

i should listen more in school

i like instant results

life is good

having a boyfriend is fun

-and weird

but good

I love Jesus

hmmm....

yay

2007-07-19T23:39:00.001-07:00

i get to go to chicago
and I couldn't
be
happier

God is so good!

2007-06-24T23:51:00.000-07:00

God is so good...

we had 450ish kids at our church youth conference this weekend and it was awesome
lives were given to Christ- truth was spoken- and the body of Christ worked together to glorify Him... know Him more... and learn what it means to imitate CHRIST

The BE-A-UTIFUL workshop went awesome- we had 100+ people there and I know there were things said and heard and taken to heart that will have eternal significance...
because we ARE significant...

and... the most fabulous part of all- is that Courtney has a blog that I didn't know about... it's almost like being there with you everyday- but different... b/c we're not drinking a snoball. :) I love you.

Imitate 07 Youth Conference

2007-03-12T21:54:00.000-07:00

Imitate is the theme for the 2007 CrossCurrent Youth Conference. The event will be held at Celebration Community Church in Hays, KS on June 22-23, 2007. Highlights will include impactful praise and worship by the Ignite Worship Band, dynamic speakers, fear factor games, relevant workshops, fun night, dodgeball tournament, and a special concert by Stellar Kart. Visit crosscurrentlife.com or call 785-625-LIVE.

:-D michella umbrella

2007-02-13T13:54:00.000-08:00

Life is awesome. I went to a really neat conference in Lawrence this weekend: www.straightupbeautiful.com

My new life profession is going to be a traveling youth leader- like Mary Poppins, but my name is Michella Umbrella. Basically I'll just travel around the world, seeing what God is doing in other places, and carry it on to encourage other ministries. God is big- He is good- and He just needs to teach me to fly with an umbrella and I'm there.

I'll graduate in a year and 3 months. Crazy. This summer is going to be a joy- spending time in Nashville, Arizona, Oregon, Virginia Beach, New York- not 100% sure on all or any of these, but thinking I may just be a crazy girl before I settle next summer with a job.

where in the world will I be? Only God knows. but I'm game.
Love ya'll

2006-10-10T14:07:00.000-07:00

by chelle_bug

flies

2006-10-09T16:35:00.000-07:00

I have slept a good 14 hours out of the last 24.

Perfect day for sleeping... what can I say :)

Things have been good- school is not too stressful. I have some big projects I need to work on and 2 more geology exams (yuck)...

life flies, doesn't it?

my 1st...

2006-09-27T14:07:00.000-07:00

Wichita ride along
we're leaving now

Pray for me! I'm a little anxious about it.. but I have prayed that God will put me in a cool position... a Christian cop, someone to minister to..

it is going to be good. I just have to trust.

Here I go!
Love always,
Michelle

changing worlds.

2006-09-25T16:46:00.000-07:00

80's night... love this life!

oh our blog world...
http://www.myspace.com/michelle_ina

sisters

2006-09-19T09:33:00.000-07:00

So I don't really write anymore... I don't even check other people's blogs.

Funny how these phases come and go.

I had an awesome weekend at a women's retreat. Awkward at first- lots of ... older ... ladies... but it was a stretch and it was good. I found a peace there...

I love being met face to face with God

and meeting new sisters in the process.

So good...

My love to you all!

pictures...

2006-07-31T17:42:00.000-07:00

such an amazing week! I'm hangin out in AZ now and havin a ball... summer is so good and God moved in big ways. I have a camp video if anybody wants to see it!!! Lots of lives were forever changed...

I have over 500 pictures to upload and post on the net... if anyone has any good ideas of what program I should use or how to upload them without my computer frying and shutting off on me (because it has more than once now) let me know, please. Blessings!

Chel ><>

prayers, please!

2006-07-21T06:09:00.000-07:00

I leave today for Arizona!!! Pray for me at camp

Here is the camp address... I will only be there July 23-29th.

Michelle Staab- Lost Canyon Childcare Team
1450 Perkinsville Road
Williams, AZ 86046

Love and blessings,
Chel ><>

DREAM big

2006-07-16T13:04:00.000-07:00

I had an incredible week at dream camp... it was a lot different this time but amazing all around. A lot of heart breaking stories were told... but there was definitely hope in the kids' eyes as they learned some self-empowerment techniques...

One very sweet nine year old asked, "Why do they make drugs?" After the director answered the question as best as possible the same girl asked, "Did God make drugs?"

I was teary-eyed as the director once again tried to explain that God created good but people make things bad sometimes...

Crazy world we live in... but I hope and pray that they have someone in their lives that teaches them the Spirit of God in them has more power than all the addictions and hurts of this world combined...

Now another week of resting and preparing for my YoungLives camp... sooo excited!

I like this

2006-07-08T14:20:00.000-07:00

I read this today and I like how it is worded... it is John 4:23-24 of the message.

"It's who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That's the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is sheer being itself—Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration."

Good stuff.

sooo stoked.

2006-07-07T12:36:00.000-07:00

This is part of an email I got from Amy Best, the childcare coordinator for my Christian Teen Mom camp this summer. I am stoked!!!...

"Well, God has pulled together our BIGGEST and BEST Childcare Team EVER in YoungLives history! We are 125 strong...from all walks of life, representing 25 states, including 3 friends from Hawaii and our first international volunteer from Canada. Here's the breakdown:

AZ - 12 CA - 9 CO - 11 DE - 4 FL - 2
GA - 7 HI - 3 IL - 6 KS - 1 MD - 3
MI - 4 MN - 3 MO - 4 NC - 1 NE - 1
NH - 2 OH - 4 OR - 1 PA - 1 RI - 8
SC - 2 TN - 8 TX - 21 VA - 1 WA - 4 "

I am so excited to be a part of something so incredible. Haha... I get to be the Kansas girl.

Fabulous

big

2006-07-05T13:48:00.000-07:00

Summer is picking up. I leave Sunday for Dream camp. I'll be in home sweet Hays another week after that and then off to Arizona for 2 weeks and another camp in Kansas for one more. Then it will be August 10 and I'll have 11 days to get ready for school. where has the time gone? The craft room is still a disaster but I've had a wonderful summer...

I am excited to see what God is going to do this summer. It's big, I know. It's already big.

Chel

Home Sweet HAM!

ahhhh

f a i t h

6

1.1.11

Invited

the 2011 hunt. . .

25

so blessed.

weird

want want want-

November: National Adoption Month

intricate.

ten.

can i get some TRUTH up in here?!

choice. . .

safe space

stirring. . .

healing!

LIFE

my 1st Lifeline Blog :)

time.

might could.

it's love

Sweet Home!

Love Gives me Hope

why I love google-

Things to Avoid on the Dance Floor

stories.

save a life!

H.I.S.

*little things

fly that flag!

thank You for this life!

my cruise shirts :) Getaway, GIRL (front) Love my GGs (back)

hug

God provides.

cheers!

Merry Christmas!

James 1:4

:)

. . . answers?

:)

<3

love this life

breakaway

. . .

Abba's Child, Brennan Manning

missin. ..

?

random. but it all makes sense up here *points to head*

life changes

welcome back!

princess!

m. i. h

12 hours

my girl

the sweetest girl

craft time!

Spirt- leading vs. guilt

thoughts.

temp...

tomorrow is a special day...

don't cry over spilled... coffee?

hot granny

lovin this

ritz-y

an array of dance photos

fabulous FL

so worth it.

belles

haha!

babies + licorice

This growing up business...

rock that

sometimes I wonder...

yes.

yay

Imitate 07 Youth Conference

:-D michella umbrella

random. but it all makes sense up here points to head